This time is a different one. What he told me makes me feel like it's a small matter, although he say it is no way that the thing can go way and need to do surgery on it. But I was like, oh yeah miracle can happen or the thing will disappear just like last time. But hell no, after I search for the information on the thing, I knew it is not a peanut matter anymore.


He ask me don't be too stress up, need to be happy happy optimism, but mum nagging and the way she talks really put up lot stress to me or my stress resistance level is too low? So tiring on blaming myself for this and that. Yes, I am so concern about the thing and started to worry it. I am being sooooooo emotional instable which I really hate myself being like this. More or less, this mood swing must be related to the thing. I often tell myself to hold the fire, don't get angry, don't throw tantrum, I cant' let my parent see me being like this and worry me and stress up. They have been stress up for ages because of the family, because of financial, because of my brother, how could I let my problem put up burden on them? But sometimes I just can't control myself.


Feel like there is nobody understand me!!!!! T _____________T